Thursday, June 02, 2005

Strange behaviors

Straight edge week is a complete and total failure. Which leaves me a bit worried about my lack of self control. I'll be honest, my hope was to curb my sex drive. No good. Today I woke up at 7 am, against the wall on the right side of my bed. I find I sleep over here more and more, Heather always had the left side, when lisha sleeps over she has the left side. It leaves me comforted to be on the right side of the bed, I like it there. I'm content with a 13 or less of the bed, Its quite strange. I've been dealing with the fact that my bed smells of lisha, and it drives me up the wall, it has me intoxicated. I'm bothered further that I can't really see her all the time. I feel like a creep when I go to douglas and I feel selfish when she stays here. I'm going insane. I'm thinking of getting some febreeze that might help but at the same time I love waking up to that scent. I realize that she did forget somethings at my house this morning. Those items include bleach, borax, and a hair scrunchy. I love having something here of hers as its an excuse to get her over, but I'm afraid if things go sour, what will happen when I find the random hair tie, I know I didn't care for finding heather's stuff years later but I need to buckle down and deal.

What I feel most regretful about with lisha is that I promised I'd grow up fall out of love and be a good friend, but I can't stop yearning for her company and to have her in my embrace. She would say I'm lame right now and a geek. Then remind me thats not a bad thing. Whats wrong with me???

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

you have a great way with words. although i don't know you, i find myself coming back just because of the way you put your thoughts together, let alone the "melodrama". good luck to you.