Well should I explain my pension for punishing myself or why I'm a jerk. Fine Glutony first.
Ok well I discovered that Heather (BUM BUM BAH!@!@!)is living in Denver. and her room mate has a blog that cover them both time to time. Yep why do I remind myself of something I should have been over years ago but haunts me yet today. Bah Chris Winckler Bah!!!!
Yesterday My phone had been dead since 2 am the morning before. well I finally get it plugged in at 5 pm to discover a voicemail. It was lisha crying because her car broke down on the interstate and no one was answering their phone. I wasn't there which makes me feel like a jerk to start with. I left a message on her phone basically saying that I hope she is okay. The worst part is I saw her the night before at the metro. We really didn't talk while I was there. I kind of just brushed her off, and she never came to speak to me. She was there with some guy just talking or whatever. Prolly just a friend, I say that because I assume it was somebody other than me trying to get into her pants which makes me jealous beyond belief. So I tell myself That it was a friend. Then the Metro closes and I go lay back in my car waiting for Peter, muttering the words of the song playing. She comes over to my car to see if I'm alright.I probably looked like I was crayz to the average passer-by. Its funny because before her checking on me I was planning this whole blog article on how she is not worth my time and I don't know why I had so much stock in her and yadda yadda yadda. I feel bad for it. Its just I know for a fact she has been in town quite a few times and hasn't even said hello once to me. She said she would fix me and you have no idea what that meant to me. With her around that weekend, I wasn't broken then. It was alot like when I was with heather, life made so much sense. And to get a hint of that again was incredible but I just kept building in my head, She was going to fix me. Yep I'm a scary scary nutbar. And when I knew she had been in town and not even just a hint of a hello or hi on the phone I was so mad. And then I turn around and not help her when any decent friend would have done. I'm such a jerk....
Chris out for now.
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2 comments:
Chris, how were you suppose to know she was trying to call you? Yeah it sucks that your phone was dead and that is partly your fault..but phones die at times and you can't help that. She needs to not just come to you when she needs help, it sounds like you two need to have a long talk, figure things out
Just from a random stranger who lurks.. but.. how the hell were you supposed to know she needed help? Don't beat yourself up for it, especially when she doesn't seem to appreciate you.
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