This is my winter melodrama and it must continue. Tonight I got drunk for the first time. It was pretty fun. I don't think I'll be repeating any time soon though, It was more of an experiment. HERE IS THE DRAMA. I want something else!!! I want to feel like if I were to die today someone would actually care. Even beyond that I'm tired of coming in last place. Just once I want to come out ahead. I've lost my job after being fired by a complete hosebag of a boss. I can barely pay my rent, I'm tired of feeling like my friends aren't really my friends, they just are there to deal with me. Like I'm some big nuisance. Fuck I'm tired of seeing the people around me constantly get it better than me. I'm at the Duplex and Rusty has a woman he doesn't even like but she gorgeous so of course hes fucking her, and then charlie who has a girlfriend get a girl tonight. So their other roommate and I have to sit around and listen to the two different couples. I would hate to do that to my friends. JUST ONCE, I would like to have the chance though. I"M EVERYONE SWEET FRIEND. You ever think that the sweet friend is so tired of it that he doesn't care anymore. BECAUSE I'M GETTING THERE.
*SCREAM*
Sunday, February 06, 2005
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